dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
