Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
