uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
