lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
