Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
