Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
