if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
