It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
