Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
