check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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