what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
