this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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