Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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