What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
