i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
