were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
