My brain says no but my pants say off.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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