She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
