I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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