Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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