evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
