Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
