So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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