I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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