meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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