You really coming over, don't trick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
