nut hugger
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
