You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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