ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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