I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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