we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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