mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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