After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
pop tarts are not kleenex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
