The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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