you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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