Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
