Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
