sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i dont even know how to be here
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
