He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
