You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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