i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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