why didn't you poke me back
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
