FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
