ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've blown a few things in my day
smell my finger.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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