Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
