So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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