plz talk dirty to me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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