OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
