Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have feelings that need drinking.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
