Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
