If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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