he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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